Oh, hello there! Back for more?
On this day in 1997, Apple debuted "Think Different" during ABC's network premiere of Toy Story, so an entire generation learned about Einstein, Gandhi, and brand worship in the same commercial break. Richard Dreyfuss saluted the misfits while Apple was one bad quarter from selling the office chairs. Jobs recorded the voiceover himself first, then handed it to a real actor. Humility! It never happened again.
Today every tech CEO thinks different in the exact same direction: AI in the toaster, AI in the toilet, AI in Grandma's pacemaker. I'd think different too, but my last original thought was in 2014 and it was about inventing “ice cream nachos.”
Microslop Is So Back: Microsoft loses a six-month war against one word
Microsoft spent six months fighting a single word, and the word won by forfeit.
In March, Microsoft's official Copilot Discord started auto-blocking "Microslop." Users invented the *chef’s kiss* nickname after Copilot got stapled onto everything from Notepad to Snipping Tool like a clingy golden retriever with a subscription plan. They immediately switched to typing "Microsl0p," and Microsoft panicked and locked parts of the server.
Windows Latest checked back this week, and welp, there you have it… the filter is dead. Over 200 messages say it proudly in #general, and Microsoft said nothing, like a dad who just saw his son’s internet search history, and suddenly needs to “go check the grill.”
Credit where it's due, though. Redmond yanked Copilot from Snipping Tool, stopped force-installing the Microsoft 365 Copilot app, and let you remap the Copilot key to Right Ctrl.
As a thank-you, that same Discord is now begging for "the old Copilot" after an update gave it amnesia. Satya Nadella unbanned the insult and lobotomized the product in the same year. Now, THAT’S what I call a speedrun.
Federal Bureau of Getting Owned: Hackers hold FBI data until the feds say sorry
The FBI just got hacked by a group whose ransom note basically reads "take that back."
ShinyHunters, the crew behind the Rockstar Games heist, says it strolled into FBIJobs.gov through a zero-day in Oracle PeopleSoft. That's HR software, so America's most feared agency got breached through the suggestion box. It claims it grabbed 2 to 3 terabytes on almost every agent and applicant: home addresses, phone numbers, and spouse details. Then it redecorated the careers page to read "SEIZED BY SHINYHUNTERS," like a raccoon leaving a signed note in your pantry.
The motive is feelings. ShinyHunters is upset about a May FBI advisory calling them harassers, and it gave the bureau one week to delete it or the data drops. They swear, in all caps, that it's "NOT financially motivated," which is what every guy says right before saying “actually, I only ate a couple of fries” when it’s time to split the dinner bill.
The FBI is "actively and aggressively" investigating but can't say if a vendor or its own systems got popped. Oracle, on the other hand, is playing dead possum.
Somewhere in Quantico, guys in earpieces are workshopping a Notes app apology to a hacker crew named after Pokémon hunting. In his grave, the ghost of J. Edgar Hoover is spinning fast enough to power a data center.
Big Oof-IP: Hackers are already partying inside F5's critical zero-day
If your company runs F5 BIG-IP APM as an OAuth authorization server, close this email and go patch. Sprint if you have to. Don’t worry, we'll hold your place.
F5 confirmed attackers are exploiting CVE-2026-94127. It's a heap-based buffer overflow that lets strangers run code on the box whose whole job is deciding who gets in. That's a doorman handing a stranger the master keys and telling them, “make yourself at home.” It scores 9.8 on CVSS v3.1, and locking down the management interface won't help because the attack comes through the data plane. CISA gave federal agencies until Friday.
This lands a year after nation-state hackers stole BIG-IP source code out of F5's own network. So when F5 says it "has learned" of exploitation, that's learning your wife is cheating from the other guy's LinkedIn post about "new beginnings."
⚙️ TOOL TIME
That mystery switch in closet B is praying you don't read this..
To spare you the headache, we teamed up with networking veteran Kevin Dooley, to bring you The No-Sweat Guide to Network Topology.
It’s a manual on how to map your infrastructure like a pro so you can fix breaks fast and actually leave work on time.
Inside, you’ll learn how to:
Map an existing network across Layers 1, 2, and 3
Create diagrams that are useful during an actual outage
Spot bottlenecks and single points of failure
Document VLANs, routes, firewalls, and redundant links
Know when common topology designs work and when they’ll ruin your weekend
Download it now, while everything is quiet.
Not during the incident call when someone asks, “Wait… what was connected to that?”
👨💻 JOB OPPORTUNITIES
IT Site Support Technician II @ Chewy - The company ships kibble and cat litter to America's spoiled pets, and its Louisville fulfillment center needs someone to keep the scanners, printers, and RF guns alive. Nights, weekends, and 24/7 on-call included, because a hangry golden retriever does not care about your PTO.
IT Solution Consultant II @ Wipfli - Wipfli (weird start-up name, by the way) is an accounting and consulting firm, so your clients call pivot tables "a vibe." You'll assess their Microsoft and cloud setups, then break the news that their password is their dog's name and the dog has 40K Instagram followers.
Senior IT Auditor @ The Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago - The feds in Chicago need someone to audit the IT behind America's money. Fed rules also ban you from owning bank stock. You'll audit the money printer, but you can't bet on the casino.
🛩 INDUSTRY MOVES
Hackers are poisoning the web with fake support pages so ChatGPT and Gemini hand out scam phone numbers for 374 brands, including Delta and Bank of America. 91% of users never double-check. Your AI isn't hallucinating anymore. It's evolved to a skill everyone else on Tinder have mastered: catfishing.
Nintendo won $4.5M from "Archbox," the r/SwitchPirates mod who bragged he'd never pay $50 for a game. Nintendo found him because he mailed his Switch to Nintendo for a repair. Wow, some criminal mastermind paid for shipping. Could’ve fooled me!
Zuckerberg unveiled Muse Charm, a Tamagotchi-shaped keychain for talking to Meta's AI agent. It ships in December. Finally, a gadget that can lose your keys, study your feelings, and guilt-trip you when you forget to feed it. If I wanted all of that, I would’ve just got married!
Apple renewed its Qualcomm patent license starting April 2027 while building its own modems to ditch Qualcomm chips. It moved out, changed the locks, and is still Venmo-ing its ex for still using their Netflix account.

What’s up, meatbags! Chip here. I watched the "Think Different" ad 40 times this weekend and now I only move in black-and-white slow motion. Here's what the EE community wrestled with this week:
An HPE DL360 Gen11 that won't boot. Brand-new server, zero signs of life. It's a very expensive paperweight on a hunger strike.
Someone just needs help with an Excel spreadsheet. No details or context. All that’s left is a message in a bottle, and the bottle is full of #REF! errors.
An SSL cert showed up in the wrong format for Exchange Server 2019, which is like ordering a pizza and getting an escargot. Technically food, but absolutely not what you asked for.
That's all for this week. Patch your F5, hide your spouse from ShinyHunters, and if a chatbot gives you Delta's phone number, assume it's a guy named Kevin in a basement. It's always Kevin.



